| Crappy Survey |
[Oct. 19th, 2005|07:33 pm] |
While I'm actually sober for a few days and it's not that bad yet. I've been feeling alright most of the time and now i just get mad instead of depressed so I'm better off there. I nearly cut my pinky in half today at work, other than that my day was boring and now here's a survey
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| Update on the Shit Show known has my life |
[Oct. 17th, 2005|09:35 pm] |
Well it's been awhile and alot has changed since i last wrote in here. For one thing I don't blame myself for what happened, it was the other persons fault. The mistake I made was trusting that person and believing in them. I can't beat myself up over that forever, but knowing that makes this alot easier.
Other than that my family life is falling to shit. My brothers yelling at me all the time, my mom is still clueless, and my dad is threatening to kick me out. Whatever though it'll blow over eventually.
So I guess I'm doing alright to quote Bad Religion " I'm a little cracked but still not broken" So it sucks for now, prolly will suck for awhile but things will blow over eventually.
Other than that On Saturday I got to meet the Foo Fighters as a result of winning a contest on Rock 101, there was 12 other people on the meet and greet, and we only got to see them for a short time but it was still pretty rocking. THe show itself though was just fucking amazing, definitly lifted my spirits. |
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| God dammit |
[Sep. 30th, 2005|01:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Fuck the World- Turbonegro | ] | Ugh what the hell. Why do I have to do this to myself. In the beginning I knew things would happen like this if i let myself feel for someone, but I did anyways cause I actually thought it would work, and I've just reminded myself why I'm always pessimistic. As soon as I get my hopes up they're crushed down.
It's all over she decided she'd rather have nothing to do with me, than just hang out with me as friends so I don't know what to say. I want to believe her when she says she doesn't know how she feels, or why she feels that way, but when she says that to me a voice in my head tells me she's just full of shit and is trying to make it easier on me. If she was sincere she'd figure out how she felt instead of just abandoning me and moving on to another guy. Which is what bothers me the most.
The worst thing is at this point I can't even be mad at her. I can only blame myself for choosing to follow through and to open myself up again. I should of known better, should of remembered what happens to me. It sucks to think but at this point I feel nothing will ever really work out for me. So I'm gonna have to do what I do best and deal with it. It's gonna be damn hard but if I have to give up and get over her I will.It's gonna take awhile and I'm gonna be miserable most the time, but maybe I'll be able to return to how I was and shut myself off again. It's the only way I'm not going to get hurt. |
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| Moving on again |
[Sep. 22nd, 2005|12:16 pm] |
I really don't get girls. I really don't get her. For the first time in my life she makes me feel like I actually matter, that I'm something special. Then she spends the next month making feel like I'm absolutly nothing, and rather than do anything to prove me wrong, you just make the feelings worse and worse till I'm sure than true. Then she flips out at me for feeling like that and you tell me you're giving up. After all that she expects me to still be friends with her. Look on the off chance your reading get this through your head. I'm not gonna be your friend, not today, not tomorrow, not next year. You've hurt me alot more than I can say and you couldn't even tell me you understood how I felt till yesterday when it was too damn late. So don't sit there waiting for me to come back cause it's never happening. for the last god damn time, GOODBYE!.
Other than that my week has been alright. Davey boy came back to Merrimack to visit before heading back to Iraq so I got to hang out with him and my brother for a bit. Been hanging out with Bill playing Burnout Revenge, and I'm going to Keene tomorrow hopefully. |
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| Done |
[Sep. 18th, 2005|06:50 pm] |
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You know what I'm done talking about how I feel, you wanna know how I feel? I hate myself, I always have and I always will, and I'm sick of hoping something good will happen to me cause it won't. So fuck all this reforming myself bullshit that's not gonna happen anymore, and fuck sharing my feelings in this stupid online journal |
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| Made My decision |
[Sep. 16th, 2005|12:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Siren- Kenna | ] | So yea things are still fucked up even worse now than before. For the past two or three weeks I've just been getting drunk alot to try and forget my problems, but instead it just made things even worse, and led me to do something really fucking stupid. I can't blame doing it on the alcohol, cause either way it was my decision, the alcohol didn't help my judgement(which is pretty crappy in the first place). So I'm gonna be a man and accept the responsibility and the consequences for what's happened. I just hope things work out in that department cause that's all I can really do. Well and I'm definitly not getting smashed for a good while that's for damn sure.
I made the decision, Monday I'm calling Dr.Cohen and asking to be put back on the anti-depressants, maybe that will help me straighten my head out a bit.
Other than that I'm just in the library at school, thinking about how I screwed up, and what I can do to make things better, which is why i'm cutting down the drinking and going back on anti depressants. Well and I took a nap for a few hours which was refreshing.
Tonight the family is going out to dinner for Aunt Jeane and Uncle Al's anniversary, then I'm heading to the Phesant Lane Mall to get Burnout Revenge, and the stuff for my halloween costume. I'm gonna be a party zombie, pretty much the typical zombie costume, except I'm going to have a skull funnel hence making me a party zombie.
Saturday- Hopefully going up to Boston for the freedom festival with Bill and possibly Derek, which should be an interesting experience.
Other than that I'm just gonna wait and hope for the best |
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| Confused as Fuck |
[Sep. 13th, 2005|08:56 pm] |
So yea today was a shitty day, and has usual i'm confused as hell about alot of things. ( this isn't about you, though i am confused last I knew we were fine and I hope it's still that way)
Last night or technically early this morning is when things started. First when I was looking through my closet I came across one of my old anti depressants which I've been off of for about three months now. All things considered I immediatly took it hoping to at least be happy for a few hours, My brother came home trashed and gave me a few beers and believe it or not I was actually happy, well maybe not happy but I stopped thinking about my problems which is close enough for me. Then since he was absolutly shitface Mike started hitting me, it didn't hurt that much but it got me thinking, now brace yourselves cause this is something u wouldn't expect to hear. I'm actually proud of myself about something. All i've seen or heard from the guys in my family they've all been violent, they'd like to go out get drunk and beat the shit outta people. All my life I've felt the urges the hatred, and the anger, the thought of taking pleasure in the physical pain of others, but I've never been able to. I can never bring myself to do it. I'm proud of that, being able to resist my nature.
Then suprisingly enough Mike let the cat into his room, considering the past three years he's talked about killing it and how much he hates it. But he was nice to it, and reality threw itself into my face again. That cat is prolly the only thing i've ever loved, it's the only reason I'm still in this shitty town, it's the only thing keeping me in this town. Cause I missed my dogs final days and I want to be around for hers. But in my brothers room I realized no matter what I did that cat would always like my brother more than me, I'd always be second place for it's affection and that fact just depresses me.
And since then I've been feeling pretty depressed, hell i've been feeling pretty depressed for the past two months, and now I have to make the decision to go back on the anti depressant or not. I have to decide whether to be content because of some little pill, or see my life for what it is and stay off the medicine. I know anything that pill does for me wouldn't be true, just a result of chemicals, but I still don't know what to do. I wanna be happy with my life the way it is, which is prolly not happening anytime soon, but i don't wanna be happy cause of some stupid little pill |
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| The One who's never good enough |
[Sep. 9th, 2005|11:21 pm] |
I just don't get it I really don't. I have no idea what to do. You say your not over me and you still like me, but I'm not stupid I can tell I'm the second choice, you don't reply to my messages, your livejournal is all about him. Don't say it doesn't mean anything, I've been reading it for awhile and I know you write about what matters to you, the people who are important, the people you care about,the people you want your friends to know about, and seeing as I'm never mentioned that's a big hint in my direction. It fucking kills me to realize this too, cause the two nights we hung out meant a lot to me, and it appartently hasn't meant much to you. Am I just the sap who was nice to you and made you feel better about yourself when things were going wrong with Jay? I knew it was a mistake to have feelings for you, cause I care about you too damn much and even after all this I can't be mad at you cause your happy, and that's what matters to me, I just wish I wouldn't have all this false hope of things working out, cause even if they did at this point it'd be just cause he was at school and I'm still in town.
All I have to say is I can't do this anymore, thinking about being with you and knowing it will never happen, it's too much for me, I took a big enough risk to even let you into my heart, I knew i'd pay for it, you told me I wouldn't but I have big time. Look I care about you and I'm gonna have feelings for you for awhile, but I really just can't do this anymore, I can't be hit back and forth over and over I just can't. It's taken more than enough for me to not cry over this. I've pretty much had to drink myself retarded on a nearly nightly basis to pull it off. I've been alone my entire life, now the fact hits me harder the more and more I think about this. So I need to give up and move on before I reach the points of depression I was at before. I know you care about me and have feelings for me, but I know I'm not going to be able to compete with Jon. So I wish you all the best and goodbye : ( |
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| One Blurry Weekend |
[Sep. 5th, 2005|08:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | All My friends are Dead-Turbonegro | ] | Ha ha so I guess since all my friends are back to school with a few exceptions I'm gonna have alot more freetime to write in this. I can tell my audience of 3 people are cheering already.
So yea this weekend was actually pretty damn fun. My parents left for Maine on Thursday till today so everyone can just get it over with and assume I was trashed all weekend. Thursday night was cool, worked all day but it flew by pretty quick, helped my brother find some supplies for the weekend and etc. Then after work we had a bunch of people over from work, and I was winning till I went to get Bill a chair and told everyone to wait, and instead they folded my cards and I woulda ended up with 4 of a kind. Goddammit, Friday I went to get my paycheck, hung out with Bill for a bit, went and visited Aunt Jean, she told me she'd cook a shit load of food for me tomorrow, and boy did she ever. I went back to get it on Saturday and she made a giant batch of cookies, corn chowder, and a pan of rice krispie treats, ha ha it's like she knows what I do in my free time :P. Then I hung around the house and ate till 7, then went to play pool with Jen mitsch for a few hours, we split 5 games a piece, and some kid was checking her out the entire time, then had his friend give her his phone number, has soon as the kid turned away she ripped it to bits and tossed it in the trash. I laughed pretty fucking hard. I just worked on Sunday, nothing special. I was gonna go up to Keene, but I figured I'd end up doing something I'd regret so I stayed home, and today I went to the mall got a game, and two cds, played catch with Bill, now I'm here at my computer.
And school starts Weds. for me, and since I never gave Newicks my class schedule, I only work one day this week. |
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| End of Summer beginning of shitty times |
[Aug. 29th, 2005|12:54 pm] |
Well it's been a hell of long time since i've wrote in this thing. Mostly cause not many read it and I usually don't feel like spilling my guts. Today i guess things are different. I got a lot on my mind
First off Summer was actually pretty awesome. Warped Tour and Alkaline Trio kicked my ass, the concerts were so awesome. Seeing the Offspring, Thrice, and Alkaline Trio all in one summer is a hell of a treat.
Finally got to go to Canada and that was amazing, getting drunk legally was a blast, the people were friendly and you could get high anywhere you wanted pretty much with no consequences.
But that's just the minor crap, for the first time in a long time this summer i opened myself up to someone, alot of times I felt like giving up on it but I was told not to, so I didn't, and now after all of it she doesn't seem to wanna hang around with me at all, she's been hanging out with someone else. She tells me things are fine and she needs to figure out what she wants, and I have a damn good idea what it is but she won't tell me cause she wants to spare my feelings or something like that. So here I am now not even knowing how to feel, feeling like I want to scream but I just can't get it out, feeling that it's all my fault, feeling that history has just repeated itself again in a big way to kick me in the junk, and it fucking sucks. I know she might read this and i don't even want her to reply cause I know whatever she says will just make shit worse, and I don't even know if I can believe what she says to me anymore, she told me everything was fine, then after all that she decides to tell me she's questioning her feelings, and is confused and all that, it wouldn't been a problem if she had told me earlier all the times I asked, but I can tell where things are going with this, and i'm gonna take my usual coward road and probably just give up, return to my life of being a loner, getting wasted outta my senses anyday I can find the time. It just sucks cause i really wanted this to work, but things like that just don't happen for me |
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| Jahleh |
[Jul. 3rd, 2005|09:25 pm] |
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Wow like I said I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything against your brother just his cd isn't all to good. It was meant as a joke but I guess my tactlessness showed again. I personally don't think it's anything for you to never talk to me again over, cause my jokes have pissed you off a good deal of times in the past, but if you wanna end our friendship over it then it's your choice. |
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| Byron Black |
[May. 12th, 2005|01:00 am] |
So yea it's been a long while since I wrote in this. Mainly cause I've gotten my licesence back and don't have to be home at all hours which is lovely. The day after I got it back we went up to UNH and got pretty damn trashed so that was awesome.Brought Christie back home on Bills behalf and I don't remember the rest of the weekend.
Since then it's just been finishing up school, hanging out with the now back home crew, and the geigers.
I've come to realization I'm in a rut, which kinda makes me regret leaving Keene cause now I have no opportunities to meet new people and that kinda sucks. Considering nearly everyone at my school is either a crackhead, idiot, or just plain pathetic. Oh well though maybe someday I'll meet another interesting worthwhile person. Until that day I have nothing better the say |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 23rd, 2005|10:20 pm] |
Over and out of it for one more plane ride out I'm not sure I never what to this would all aside it would Wait here a month or two will pass I'm sure I won't Fake dear enough to give you by until we're home
I wish, I'd go relax, just smoke I wish, that I wrote you one original note
Take me home, tuck me in go down, do it again take me home, tuck me in go down, do it again
Over and out of it for one more plane ride out I'm not sure i never what to this would all aside
I wish, I'd go relax, just smoke I wish, that I wrote you one original note
Take me home, tuck me in go down, do it again take me home, tuck me in go down, do it again |
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| The random update of James Mullan |
[Apr. 21st, 2005|11:53 pm] |
So yea it's been well over a week and still no news on what happened to Maria :/
Well there's no use getting hung up over it,because I have some good news.
I'm getting my licesence back soon!!!! God damn I'm excited, that means Bill and I will be storming our way to UNH and taking it by the balls, only in a non homosexual way. Heh also when I can drive again I'm actually going to go shopping for a new wardrobe, I figure it'll be nice to dress like a casual human being every now and again. Yes believe it or not folks some day there will be a nicely dressed James Mullan...... SHOCK AND TERROR!!!!
Of course yesterday was the holy day 4/20. First I had to suffer through a long day of school, and a horribly busy day of Jewicks(the other backroomer called out so I got stuck by myself, and considering the date we had a lot of hungry customers.) Of course once that was done the day of celebration began. Of course I celebrated by myself, but I was still able to find way to keep myself laughing stupidly with minimal snacking.
Hopefully soon I'll get a gym membership again, so I can get a full workout with real equipment and shiat like that.
Well peace out crackahs
" In the year 2000 NBC will air it's most challenging edition of Fear Factor. When contestants have to swallow the notion that Clay Aiken isn't gay." - Conan |
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| Mullans Deepthoughts (yes I'm sober) |
[Apr. 11th, 2005|10:49 pm] |
-Warning this entry contains the heartfelt feelings of One James Mullan. If you have no interest please skip to a wacky remark at the end-
Today started out like anyother Monday. Go to cinema, sleep three hours etc. However an hour into class Craig comes in and tells me they found Sarah Langis in a river, deceased. I had no idea how to react. I had known Sarah since 1st grade and we may have had a mutual disliking for one another but she was a human being no less. When my reaction to the news was sorrow, and feelings of remorse for her family I realized I'm a new person than who I used to be. If this had happened 2 years ago I prolly would of made a joke out of it being the asshole I was. So I wondered, how did I go from being the miserable jackass who hated everyone, and loved making people miserable, to an actual compassionate human being. Sure I had always had feelings of compassion for other people, but I'd never express them, and hide them with flippant remarks, and other such Mullanish actions. I guess the changing started at Keene. If one good thing came from being at that school it was the abandonment of Jackass James, and me becoming a new person. I no longer harassed people, or brought them down for my own amusement. Now I actually helped people, whether I knew them or not, whether I liked them, or disliked them. I didn't even do it for selfish gain like I would of years ago. I did it for the sake of making a positive difference, and being a good human being. I guess I'm glad I went to Keene afterall. I mean sure I still have a lot of hatred in me, but now I'm a happier person, and I keep my feelings of hatred inside for the sake of other peoples feelings. I guess I finally grew up.
So I spent pretty much my whole day thinking of that. Until I got home from work and talked to Krystal. She told me it was Maria, not Sarah that was found. That immediatly changed everything. I actually got along with Maria, I actually talked to her when I'd see her, and she was a really nice person. Now she's gone, and she's not even herself anymore cause of how long it took them to find her. I always wondered how'd it feel to see that someone I went to school with that I knew and talked to was gone forever. I can't even descrive the feeling, it's just a cavalcade of different emotions. I'm not heartbroken or anything cause we weren't that close. I'm saddened and everything,angry and confused that this could happen, and overall just in disbelief. I don't even know if I should go to the funeral or not, cause her sisters hate me, and I'm pretty sure most Merrimack people there won't be fond of me. I'm gonna send flowers at least. I owe her that much. She was one of the first girls in our school to just randomly see me and treat me like a human being, and that means alot to me.
This whole event also got me thinking more about my life. Mainly the fact that by most medical logic I should of been dead a long time ago, but I'm still here, and up until today I didn't really appreciate it, I used to think I could go at anytime and be perfectly, but now I don't. I want to live to see how my life will turn out, if it's for better or for worse doesn't matter. This is the first time in a long time I'm honestly happy to say I'm sitting here breathing.
Rest In Peace Maria. -end of serious stuff-
Wacky remark of the day. " I don't know if you knew this or not, but if you hit a midget in the head with a stick he'll turn into 40 gold coins, if you kick him in the nuts he'll turn into eight squirrells, and if you lose a fight to a midget you become one." - Patton Oswalt. |
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| No Car and No driving make James something something... |
[Apr. 7th, 2005|05:07 pm] |
So yea I legally can't drive for 20 days now cause of one speeding ticket. Isn't that just a kick in the balls. So yea my life is pretty much cut of all excitement for the next 20 days. No drugs, no booze, no fun. Oh well it was about high time I took a break anyways. The only thing that really sucks is now instead of leaving school during my breaks I'm forced to sit there and watch the dregs of society perform their meaningless tasks. God I need to meet some new people but everyone at my school is too damn pathetic. Oh well again.
So yea the next twenty days for me is just gonna be working, sleeping, working out, sleeping, sleeping at work, and jack shit. So expect more entries no one will read. Especially the mexicans, oh how I despise them.
-Fans of American Idol have been complaining that Ryan Seacrest is too mean to contestants that are eliminated. When asked a spokesman for Ryan Seacrest said. " Oh my God I'm a spokesman for Ryan Seacrest" - Conan O'Brien. |
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| Marv= the man |
[Apr. 4th, 2005|08:59 pm] |
So yea another dynamite weekend came and passed. Went up to UNH on Friday with Bill, did the usual cruise on the way up there, then met up with Derek, Eric, and Christie. We headed out to some chicks apartment cause our beer was there. We chilled out and played a couple of games of beirut and made small talk with the chicks. Then we made the trek down to AGR. I was on the dance floor and this really hot chick i had ran into earlier signaled to me so I came over she gets up starts grinding me, and kissing me all over telling me her boyfriend dumped her,she asks me my name and if I have a gf, I say no. Then she puts her arms around me starts grinding on me hard and kissing me more. Then she asks if I go to UNH and I say no, then she just walks off. FUCK! So let that be a lesson to you, if ur with a hot chick at a college your visiting, and they ask if you go to the school you say YES!!
Saturday nothing really happened, just chilled out went to breakfast etc. Yesterday though we saw Sin fucking City and it blew me away. It was such a good movie on so many levels. I'd go into more detail but I'm a lazy asshole. All I can say is Marv owns everyone.
MTV's new slogan - MTV helping white suburan people stereotype the black culture since 1982. |
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| Hey why the fuck not |
[Mar. 30th, 2005|10:09 pm] |
I'm too lazy to write anything,and I'm bored and wanna see how laughable my replies are
What Would You do if... I cried: I said I liked you: I kissed you: I was hospitalized: I ran away from home: I got in a fight and you were there: I got dumped: I made you mad:
What Do You Think Of My... Personality: Eyes: Face: Hair: Clothes: Voice: Humor: Decisions:
Would You... Be my friend: Tell me the truth no matter what: Lie to make me feel better: Spread rumors about me: Keep a secret if I told you one: Loan me some cash: Hold my hand: Take a bullet for me: Keep in touch: Try and solve my problems: Love me: Ditch me: Use me: Beat me up: |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 23rd, 2005|12:00 am] |
So yeah Spring break is over, that's unfortunate. It was a pretty good time Saturday through Thursday, Just getting to hang out with the whole gang again was nice. I was pleasantly suprised at Stephs house that Jahleh showed up and I actually got to par-tay with her.
The rest of the week was the usual dicking around, hanging with Bill, Krystal, Derek, Grant, and a couple of the ol Keene crew.
St.Patricks day sucked balls. My brother finally decide to reclaim his title of biggest dickhead in the house, by making me waste my day thinking I was his ride home from the bars, getting a new ride at the last minute, then coming home, beating the shit out of me and yelling at me for half an hour, cause he was too damn drunk. The next day he began throwing snide remarks at me, I finally had enough and told him off. Man did he shit a break, the ultimate example of dishing it but not being able to take it. Then he goes on this whole " I hate you, we're never talking again". Which after saying he continued talking to me a few more times. So as it stands I hate him, he hates me. Well he'll hate me till he needs a favor or realizes he's a fucking prick.
I can't wait to leave this god forsaken family. |
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| Cause I have nothing better to do |
[Mar. 2nd, 2005|12:04 am] |
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY: 1. James 2. Mullan 3. Twitchy Mcgee
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD: 1. Heavymetaljesus2 2. Mightymoron69xx 3. JollyJackass69xx
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: 1. I can be a funny fuck when I want to 2. I do what I want 3. I shower on a daily basis
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: 1. Tourettes 2. My frizzy out of control hair 3. Spend too much money
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE: 1. Italian 2. Irish 3. French
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU: 1. My Father 2. My Brother 3. Failure
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS: 1. Clothes 2. Wit 3. Underpants
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW: 1. Underpants 2. pants 3. nintendo shirt
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS: 1. The Offspring 2. Alkaline Trio 3. SYL
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (right now): 1. The Offspring- No Hero 2. Alkaline Trio-Private Eye 3. Devin Townsend- bad Devil
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS: 1. Getting a girl 2. cutting down on pot 3. To be a better person
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP: 1. Someone who makes me laugh 2. Someone who I'm comfortable with and am friends with 3. Someone who will buy me shit (haha its shallow but who cares?)
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE: 1. I'm more sensitive to people than I come off 2. I banged four chicks at once 3. I'm not as hateful as people think I am
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU: 1. Eyes 2. Legs 3. No fat chicks
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO: 1. meet girls 2. stop twitching 3. Stop playing resident evil 4
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES: 1. Videogames 2. Exercising 3. getting messed up
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW: 1. drink more 2. Meet some new people 3. Get the hell outta here
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING: 1. Actor 2. Something involving film 3. Porn star
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION: 1. Amsterdam 2. Ireland 3. Canada
THREE KID'S NAMES: 1. Shasba 2. Leon 3. Jerkface
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: 1. Drink at a pub in Ireland 2. Do it on a trampoline 3. Make it big
THREE WAYS YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A Boy 1. I work out 2. I like boobs 3. I hate chick flicks
THREE CELEBRITY CRUSHES: 1. Katie Holmes 2. Hilary Duff 3. Lindsay Lohan
THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW: 1. No 2. Fucking 3. Idea |
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